SPORTS

Amazing relationship binds Delaware football player, sister

Kevin Tresolini
The News Journal

NEWARK – They were the last words Ben Curtis' father spoke to him on the night he would meet a violent, untimely death.

The University of Delaware offensive tackle never forgot.

And though the advice was meant for football, it became a guiding principle for a young man in a family reduced from four to three, including a younger sister with severe autism upon whom Curtis has long doted.

"Just go out there and play your hardest," Curtis said, recounting words spoken to him by Benjamin Curtis III on Aug. 11, 2006. "You're going to get beat. Don't be afraid to get beat because the best get beat and they get better from it.''

Ben Curtis, who'll start his 26th straight game at Delaware Stadium Saturday against Rhode Island, is a testament to that counsel.

He is 6-foot-5 and 290 pounds, but has managed to stand sturdier and loom larger for himself and his family.

"He lives it," Delaware football coach Dave Brock said when told of the inspiring parting words that have fueled Curtis.

From his studious, bespectacled appearance, Curtis smiles easily and speaks softly and deliberately. He may be among the Blue Hens considered "quiet'' by their coaches. But his words, if not spoken in great quantity, tend to exhibit confidence, perspective and considerable thought.

The source of that may be his interactions with sister Lauren, 16, who has limited verbal ability. She and Ben communicate through some sign language, simple gestures and expressions. Lauren also employs PECS, or picture exchange communication system, which uses cards.

But the two have a unique understanding – and love, Ben said – that probably only they comprehend.

"She knows what I'm thinking," he said. "She knows what I'm saying. She knows when I'm happy, and I can gauge that in her, too.''

Christian Marchena, Curtis' fellow offensive lineman and roommate, has often marveled at his close friend's connection with his sister.

"They don't even need words to communicate," Marchena said. "They can sense each other. He knows what she's thinking, what she's about to do. They have an unspoken bond.''

Growing up, Ben, now 21, often helped care for his sister while his mother, Laurie, and father, who had a long career in various law-enforcement positions, worked.

Sometimes Ben was overprotective, he said, getting in fights with those who made critical comments.

Going away to college in 2011 was difficult at first, Curtis said, and it was tough being away from home last summer when his sister had to be hospitalized after several seizures. But he relishes the postgame meetings, both in Newark and last Saturday in Williamsburg, Virginia, after the game against William & Mary.

"It's a loving relationship, but it's a little bit complicated because of her autism," he said. "She has trouble communicating, in general, but especially her emotions. There'll be times where we're trying to figure out what she wants and she ends up getting frustrated because she can't articulate what she wants to say.''

On his right biceps, Curtis has a tattoo of the infinity sign – the sideways figure eight – which, to him, symbolizes that he is his sister's protector.

"He always seems the happiest whenever he's with his mom and his sister," Marchena said. "The relationship he has, they're everything to him. He has told me that they're the reason he plays football – to see them after games and to know they're proud of him.''

His role within the family took on greater prominence when Curtis was 12, entering eighth grade, and his father died.

He had a middle-school football jamboree on Aug. 11, 2006, that his father wouldn't be able to attend because of work. His parting words the night before included a promise to attend Ben's middle-school games with the season about to commence.

After returning to his Columbia, Maryland, home following the jamboree and seeing it suddenly fill with relatives, a curious Curtis was told the awful news. His father had been shot to death outside an Odenton bar in a robbery and car-jacking. In 2012, a man serving a 50-year prison sentence for another crime was charged with murder.

"It made me mature in a way, but it also motivated me," Curtis said. "I know for a fact that, if my dad couldn't do it, he would want me to take care of my mother and my little sister.''

His mother, the former Laurie Governor, is a member of the University of Richmond athletics hall of fame. Her 1,655 points and 1,086 rebounds are among the most in the Spiders' women's basketball history.

Ben's father was also a football and track athlete who competed some at the collegiate level at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York.

The family athletic exploits don't stop there. Curtis' cousin is Ray Farmer, the former Duke safety and Eagles linebacker who is now general manager of the Cleveland Browns.

The strength Curtis has shown in response to his family situations is a product of his upbringing, his mother said.

"We instilled in Benjamin from a very early age, one, the importance of education and, two, doing your best," said Laurie, who works as a real-estate referral agent and a faculty manager for Kaplan Test Prep.

"Both of us coming from a sports background, we knew if you put in the effort you're going to see the rewards. So it was almost expected. Now, we didn't anticipate this was going to happen to his dad. But he's always been very mature. He's handled everything, and I think a lot of that has to do with Lauren."

Curtis attended Cardinal Gibbons High but, when it closed after his junior year, transferred to and graduated from Calvert Hall. He played basketball in high school, too. But his exploits as a two-way lineman in football earned both FBS and FCS scholarship offers. He red-shirted as a true freshman at Delaware in 2011, started five games in 2012 and has been a full-time starter the last two seasons.

"He really is the epitome of a kid who works like you love a kid to work, who practices like you love a kid to practice, because he just grinds," Brock said. "No matter what it takes, he does it."

That likely reflects a family life where certain challenges required a proper response.

Curtis, who has junior eligibility in football but is a senior academically, will graduate in May with a degree in criminal justice. He hasn't decided yet what he'll study in the fall during his final football season. He then plans to attend a police academy, with his career ambition being special weapons and tactics (SWAT).

"I've always had an interest in becoming a cop because you want to be like your father," Curtis said, "but I would say what happened to him did push me a little bit in that direction.''

He credits his mother, who is 6-foot-2 and, at age 48, still appears quite capable of scoring off an offensive rebound, with giving him the necessary tools to thrive.

"My mom is a fantastic woman, the strongest person I ever met in my life," Curtis said. "I don't know if I could have handled it if she wasn't there.''

It's surely been a team effort.

"I am so absolutely blessed to have him as a son," Laurie said of Ben, "because you hear about people who aren't so lucky. I recognize that I am so lucky to have been given the honor of being his mother, because he is such an amazing kid."

Contact Kevin Tresolini at ktresolini@delawareonline.com. Follow on Twitter @kevintresolini.